It is the reality, the fact that every man or woman with sound mind should think likewise; which my Soul ail me every now and then, it thrush my mind and heart with questions those I couldn’t really have the right answers to. I feel compelled to give something—something I don’t see in my hands and I don’t really know even what it is; but its urgency that I must give something to this Country is so strong to resist.
Sometimes, I feel outran by those who have already gave their blood and
Souls for the making of this Country in those years of struggle before me. The solidness
of their sacrificial testimonies makes me feel a damned slushy, seeing the fact
that they gave up all that they had to this Country. My father Baak Malong
Diing died in the same row, he gave up his life for this Nation which we have
attained now. Now, I could see my life of no value at all because I did give
nothing to this Country.
Giving don’t stop
when your father has given something or when you yourself have given something
couple of years or days back, giving should be a habit, a continuous habit. My
Mum one day retorted our conversation on “taking much money for myself talk”
she said, “Real men are valued by what they give, not by what they take
away—it is weakling when you are at the side that takes away, for the strong
man is him who give much not him who takes away much”. She continued, ‘it
is the distinct habit of the weaklings always, they like to take away anything
that fall on their ways—they are crazy opportunists” she concluded. At first I
defiantly disregarded her words, but with enough time spent, I came to realize
that she was not only right, but I got the logic behind her reasoning!
I decided “to don’t
want to be” at the side of take away, for I have fully gotten what it means to
be “a take always folk” and how good and joyous it make one feel especially
when you give what you have sweated for it, to your own Soil. It engenders undeniable joy and peace that will continue to swollen the heart. I have understood that
it is only those who give what they toiled for; they are the ones who get that
immeasurable joy. This is what many of us, the South Sudanese folks lucked. For
we did not give to this Country something, we did not shown her respect,
loyalty, honesty, responsibility, sacrifices, equity and above all, love and
hard work.
We merely showed her
cruelty and disrespectful eyes, instead of love, please, this Country doesn’t deserve
to be shown cruelty at all. Giving, and giving much is the element that true
leaders and nationalistic societies possessed, examples are myriad on this. We
may cover ourselves under the blanket of very many excuses, excuses those we
might think they are reasonable enough to answer to the “why we did let down
our Country”. But no matter what kind of full bag of excuses we have gotten, they
can’t at all answer the reality and tangibility of our weakling ill-attitudes
those we nourished against this in Soil so long.
We are supposed to
protect this Country from any kind of greediness; especially greediness those carry
crocked ill-attitudes which emerge not only from others but even the unbecoming
ill-attitudes those from ourselves. You know what, for a Country to survive; it
needs us to be responsible, open-minded, lovers of good and willingly
sacrificial toward her welfare. Singing the song that “we have liberated this
Country, we have liberated this Country” will take us not far. I felt pity when
our President Kiir Mayar declared that he has no remediation to the ailing
economy—later on he gave forty (40,000 USD) thousands United American dollars
to Parliamentarians who cooked their project of “Kiir must continue to be
President in next three years to come”.
Those money were supposed to be used at least for building something help for
this society whose situation is unpromising.
I have understood,
yea, the why the conflict will never end, and any human beings with reasoning
mind could be same. We might be expert in dodging the blind eyes and minds from
realizing the true element that serves to agitates or provoke wars. And if that
problem remains un-answered or addressed, it will still provoke bloodiest wars
after this peace of 30/10/2018 is signed again. The 7.5 million USD which are
allocated for peace, could be wiser if used for building hospital or for
constructing this poor road.
The newly appointed Aweil State governor Gen. Jal Malith
Jal blatantly released this energetic speech in a gathering in the opening of
school by Bishop Wilson Garang Chan saying, “Our President Salva Kiir Mayardit has been refusing such tough
commanders like us not get into governorship, because we are well known for
total-no-forgiveness-at-all, we are killers” he concluded his speech in
aggressive tone. He continue, “but now,
he has seen that some people are sabotaging our system, this power we will
never hand it over to any bull that comes from out of SPLM no matter how it
looks bigger than ours, we will cut down”. He ended his word by saying that
they (SPLM system) will do away with Dr. Reik Machar and his SPLM-IO members including
any other opposition bodies this time.
I felt pity on him, I
realized why Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they
are doing”. Our politicians don’t really understand that when you kill a
brother, you will not have peace of mind and heart either—because peace must
mean true peace as well as war means wars and they have consequences following them
no matter what.
Therefore, in this
context, we can have sustainable peace, we can have it when we honestly confess
out our wrong deeds and ask for forgiveness from those we had hurt. We must
humbly and fully compensate what we have damaged without any sort of condition
set to hinder the do it so well.
Rev
Malong Bak Malong
longbany2015@gmail.com
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